8-23-20

 9:01 PM

Holy shit, I'm depressed. That's it.

8-17-20

 9:25 PM

One of my best friends, Ben Saffer, died 3 days ago on the 14th. He was in a head-on collision on his way to work. I feel so broken inside. This week has been stressful enough with work and the injury to my leg ... and now Ben is gone. And I just wish I could talk to him again. He was amazing. Fearless. Determined. He was the type of person everyone should aspire to be. I will miss his wisdom so much. He was witty and weird and funny and one of the best human beings I've had the pleasure of knowing. I really hope you're at peace now. I loved our friendship so much. Thank you for everything you did for me over the years. I hope to see you again someday. 

8-9-20

9:35 PM

Got a really deep cut on my leg at work today. My boss told me I'd be fired if I filed a report, so that's fun. I think the depression is coming back. I'm tired all the time. Nothing interests me any more. Nothing really makes me laugh or feel happy besides my girlfriend. I just feel like a shell of a person. I really don't know what I need. I've been stuck like this for so long. I feel like it's never going to end. I don't know how to change any of this. I'm tired of being alive, but I don't want to die. Is there a name for that?