5-19-26

 Online friendships are so fickle. You can be ‘friends’ with someone for months/years, say one thing they don’t like, and they’ll instantly ghost you. 

What a weird time to be alive. 

1-15-26

 Happy Birthday to me. 

1-14-26

 It is a new year. Been almost 2 since Mom died. Nothing is the same since she left. Nothing feels real. Nothing matters. 

I’ve stopped all social media for the time being. Turned off all access to news. I pretty much just work and escape at home. I’m writing another book, even though I know it will fail. But for some reason, I have a need to get it out into the world. Barely anyone bought my last book; so I’m sure this will be the same outcome. I guess I’m just making it for me. I don’t know anything anymore. 

4-3-25

 Well... as is par for the course, my novel gained almost no traction. Didn't even sell out of the original 25 copies I ordered. Am I surprised? Not in the slightest. That's how my life goes. I pour my heart and soul into something, and no one cares. No one has cared my entire life.

So now I'm on autopilot. I have an NPC job and making shit money. Trump is president, and everything is shit. 

That's pretty much it. I give up. I'm tired of trying. 

12-30-24

 I officially released my novel today. That's it. I just wanted to have this in writing. It's my life's work. And now, it's out in the world. 

12-26-24

 This will probably be my last post of 2024. This year has sucked. Probably one of the worst years of my life so far. I watched my Mom die. Kept getting fucked over by my previous employer. Had to take out 2 extremely large loans just to make ends meet. Invested a huge amount of money into a business idea that ended up flopping. Started a Twitch channel with my wife that flopped. I'm tired of trying and still failing. Why can't anything just work for me?

The only positive thing I've done is finish my book. It will finally be for sale at the beginning of next year. I'm less than 3 weeks away from 40 and I've accomplished nothing. Fuck.

11-8-24

 Welp, quit my job today. Didn't even put in my 2-week notice. My boss is a dickhead, and I'm tired of being told I don't know what I'm doing by a 26-year-old kid who has been in my industry for 1/10th the amount of time as I have. Fuck him and fuck working. I'm over it.